Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Random and Surly

I was looking through pictures of a recent jaunt that we went on and found the above picture. It was totally random to find this hand in the gardens and at the particular time I was frustrated with the day. Kind of like today so I thought it was the perfect photo for my mood. I just have a lot of random thoughts running through my cranky mind tonight. I can't believe I have a first grader, an almost kindergardner and almost three year old. I know everyone is saying similiar things with all the back to school happening but sometimes I have to just stop and stare in awe at my children and how grown up they are becoming which is such a blessing and curse at the same time. Sometimes I just stop and stare because they act like crazy howler monkeys. I am frustrated that we have had giant winds all day that are destroying my rose bush outside. I really wanted my company that arrives tomorrow to see it... it is not looking good. I wish I was tech savy but alas I am not and I am really wondering how to do a simple thing like change the stinkin font so I each and every post does not look the same... because it makes me nuts. Also my layout is all wonky and I am to lazy and untalented to figure it out. I could ask Bill for help but I sometimes get angry when he can do stuff in 2 seconds that it would take me a week and 80 tries to do. I wish that I was not a procrastinator because then I would not have been shlepping 4 comforters and two kids around the laundry mat and base today in the howling wind and needle like rain. Heaven forbid I get things done a second before the company actually arrives and I am rested... oh no I like to scramble and be dashing and look like trash when they show up. I LOVE skype, especially when the connection is good but I miss talking on the phone... it is hard for me to sit and talk. I don't do still well. I am wishing we had not been so hasty with things when my mom passed. There was an overwhelming amount of stuff to accomplish in such a short time, we were in a grief fog and now there is stuff I want that is long gone. I wish that my son did not have food allergies so he could eat what everyone else did. While on the subject of cooking I really wish I was an amazing cook, not just one who is acceptable. I wish my dog was less of a nut job. I wish the hubby was here to do the bedtime routine with above mentioned howler monkeys because I am not feelin it. I am reading a great poetry book right now called She Walks in Beauty and I found this one that is so appropriate for my surly mood this week: Grown Up Edna St. Vincent Millay Was it for this I uttered prayers, And sobbed and cursed and kicked the stairs, That now, domestic as a plate, I should retire at half-past eight?

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